Friends Traveling Together Without Losing the Friendship

Talk About Money Before You Book

Money is probably one of the least fun conversations to have with friends — and one of the most important before traveling together.

These conversations don't have to be awkward. What's awkward is finding out halfway through the trip that someone is spending more than she or he can comfortably afford because nobody wanted to talk about money before leaving home.

A budget isn't about deciding who can afford what. It's about planning a trip everyone can enjoy comfortably.

• What is everyone realistically comfortable spending?
• Are you looking for budget-friendly, moderate, or something a little more special?
• Will you split restaurant checks evenly or will everyone pay for their own meals?
• If one person wants an upgraded room, premium excursion, or expensive dinner, does everyone need to participate?

Talk About Your Travel Styles

You can know someone for twenty years and have absolutely no idea what they're like on vacation.

• Are they early risers or late sleepers?
• Do they like a schedule or prefer deciding what to do after breakfast?
• Are they adventurous eaters?
• Do they like nightlife?
• Do they want to see everything possible or would they rather experience fewer things at a slower pace?
• Do they need some quiet time?

Different Styles Aren't a Dealbreaker

These aren't reasons not to travel together. They're reasons to plan better.

If I know half the group wants activities and the other half wants downtime, we can look for a trip that gives everyone some choices.

You don't need identical travel styles. You need a trip with enough flexibility for everyone's style to fit.

Everyone Does Not Have to Do Everything Together

This may save more friendships than anything else in this guide.

You are allowed to separate. Really.

If four people want to spend the morning sightseeing and two want to sleep late, nobody needs to feel guilty. If one couple wants a romantic dinner by themselves one evening, wonderful. If someone has absolutely no interest in visiting a museum everyone else is excited about, they can skip it.

You can meet for dinner, compare stories, and enjoy hearing about what everyone did.

Traveling together should give you shared experiences. It should not require unanimous participation in every minute of the vacation.

Choose Your Roommates Carefully

If you're sharing rooms or cabins, talk about this before booking.

Your best friend may be your favorite person in the world and still be a terrible roommate for you.

Think about sleeping habits, bathroom routines, temperature preferences, snoring, early alarms, television, noise, and how much personal space everyone needs.

And don't take it personally if someone wants her or his own room. Sometimes paying more for separate rooms is the best investment you can make in the friendship.

Don't Let One Person Become the Group Parent

Every friend group seems to have one. The person with the confirmations. The person reminding everyone what time to meet. The person checking whether everyone has their passport. The person everyone texts when they can't remember what time the excursion leaves.

Being organized is wonderful. Being responsible for every adult on the vacation is not.

Before you travel, make sure everyone has access to the important information they need: itinerary, confirmations when applicable, meeting times, addresses, transportation information, and emergency contacts.

When I'm helping with a group trip, I also want travelers to know where to find their information and who to contact with travel-related questions.

One friend should not have to spend the entire vacation keeping everyone else organized.

Have a Plan for Safety

Friends look out for each other at home, and that shouldn't change because you're on vacation. Before the trip, talk about a few simple things.

• Know how you're getting around the destination, especially at night.
• Use reputable transportation and excursion providers.
• Share the itinerary and important contact information.
• If the group separates, make sure everyone knows how they're getting back to the hotel, resort, or ship.
• If someone decides to go somewhere alone, let someone else in the group know where they're headed.
• Keep phones charged and have a way to communicate with each other.

Look Out for Each Other

And don't assume that because you're traveling as a group, everyone will always be together.

Safety isn't about being afraid to explore. It's about looking out for each other while you do it.

Give Each Other a Little Grace

Travel is wonderful. Travel can also involve delayed flights, jet lag, heat, missed meals, sore feet, changed plans, and occasionally somebody who just needs fifteen minutes without another human being speaking to them.

Not every quiet moment means someone is upset. Not every disagreement needs to become a group discussion. And not everyone handles stress the same way.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for the friendship is give somebody a little space and meet back up later.

Don't Let the Group Chat Become the Trip

Planning is important, but eventually you have to stop discussing the trip and actually take it.

There will probably never be a date that is perfect for everyone. You may not find a destination where every single person gets everything on their wish list. And somebody may back out after everyone spent three months trying to find dates that worked.

That's group travel.

At some point, the people who are ready have to say: "These are the dates. This is the trip. We're going."

Because the goal isn't to plan the perfect vacation on paper. The goal is to come home with stories you'll still be laughing about years later.

Preferably while everyone is still speaking to each other.